Caterpillar Talk

So where have I been the past 200 odd days?

I often ask myself that question. But the truth is, it has been hard for me to document every single moment, thought, emotion and action since I stopped blogging.

I felt like I needed to do more at the time, as opposed to write.

Oh, but don't think I was on a joyride. It's been a rollercoaster on fast forward. From barely staying afloat my sea of tears, to finding love and living on a cloud for those enchanting few months, to finding a job and remembering how truly brilliant I'm at my profession, to redefining core relationships, to finally sharing my original compositions with the world, to gaining and losing weight, to gaining perspective but losing at love, again, to moving all my things back home, to finally identifying a 'home' space, to nesting, to longing for a companion, to wanting NO ONE to enter the space of my ever-covetted Underbelly, to discovering the magic of eating apples. Yes, it's been quite a wild ride.

All in all, I'm happy I made it to Day 315 alive, in one piece. The curveballs threw me around for a while, but so far, I'm still winning. I'm tattooed but not scarred, hurting but not destroyed, tired but not vanquished, ready to live another day in this busy transit we call 'Life'.
Now that the cocoon is breaking, I'll finally be able to stretch my long, cramped legs. And wings.

Upward and onward... Please?

Day 315: Listen up!

If the theory that spirits of the dearly departed latch onto us humans from time to time to leech off of our misgivings in  order to cover their "karma" quota and freeload during our good days, holds true, then WHO THE FUCK IS RIDING MY TRAIN?

Look, you! You had your shot and looks like you blew it. You died without making amends. So if you think copping out on rebirth by exploiting my life choices like an ungrateful parasite is going to get you UNIVERSAL POINTS, THINK AGAIN!

Because as I see it, you've no choice but to get your sorry ass DOWN here, to human life, and clean your crusty ass YOURSELF. And THIS time, be more thorough, eh?

This train is no longer serving freeloading passengers. It's going to the yard to be spruced and when I'm done healing I'd like to live the remainder of MY life as MY life -- NOT your unfinished bidness.

Yours  Compassionately (but NOT unconditionally),

TK